31 Dec 2015

We are literally a day before 2016 so I thought I would write a reflective post to share my experiences of the year we are leaving! When I started to think back about what I had actually done this year I worried that I hadn't done enough, but searching through my phone back ups, looking at photographs and videos, I remembered I had actually done so much and alot were huge changes. It made me incredibly happy to be a blogger, to be a person who documents everything via photograph and video to see all the good times I have had in 2015. It's going to sound a little corny but I feel like I really have come into my own this year, finding an answer to the question in life 'what do I want to do for the rest of my life'. That could be naive at only 21, but for now it's a goal that I want to work and work towards to achieve. 

This year I did something I had always wanted to do and went on an adventure, my first holiday abroad as an adult over the age of 18. A little late yes, but it was perfect. With a bunch of humans I call my best friends, I had the absolute time of my life and never  felt so free to see another side of the world that is far from the culture in Britain. What makes me happy is we did it all ourselves, the arranging, planning, I saved so much money working my ass off and sat on that plane I had the realization of 'omg we're actually doing it we're getting away'. I've never had much money for myself so I was so proud to of saved so much to be following out a dream. This holiday made my wanderlust explode, I want to travel and have adventures until I'm too old to stand. 
Another large step for me was the amazing food I tried whilst in Greece, which is a big thing considering I am the fussiest eater. I have a limited set of food that I eat, but after this holiday I will try anything that is outside of my food comfort zone. We even climbed up a mountain to a temple, it was so peaceful but adventurous to be out in the world exploring history.  
At the beginning of the year I thought I was happy, but slowly over the months my happiness started to disappear as I found myself being let down time and time again.
In all honesty I worked a lot, so did my partner at the time and our work hours never were in sync. I found myself on my own and sad all the time, putting my all into something which I was only getting not even half of my efforts back. It broke my heart. Only now can I look back and see that what I had wasn't right. Everyone around me noticed how 'not me' I was, especially when it affected my university life because I was never there. 

I knew Joel through work and with me trying to take on full time hours over the summer, we spent so much time with each other and started dating. Of course that's a simple version of how we got together, but I'm so immensely happy that we did because he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We've been together over 7 months and they've been amazing, we make so much time for each other whilst juggling our jobs and my university course, which says it all. He brings out the best in me and encourages me with my ambitions, supporting me with all my ideas around my independent business jgdrawings (he was the reason I printed t-shirts!). 
In summer we decided to go away on a little holiday whilst we could get the time off work together, wanting an out of the York bar scene for a little while to adventure together. I had never been to Whitby which is a sea side town in England with so much culture revolving around the story of Dracula, so on a whim we paid for a couple of nights away and took a scenic bus through the country side. It was perfect, we tried awesome food, went on a walk around the country side, I SAW THE TRAIN STATION PLATFORM FROM HARRY POTTER!!!, Rode an old fashioned steam train, played on the 2p machines and forgot about the world. We also went on a pirate boat out into the sea, which I almost threw up on but hey love. 

Not starting back at university till the end of September, I spent so much time with Joel doing some many new things. We tried out so many places in York for food, which have now become our regular date places. Even traveled out to Leeds for smoke house food and cocktails! We soaked up all opportunities together and still do, buying our first pet rats together which if you follow me on Instagram you will have seen me spamming their cute little faces. I've never had such a solid relationship before, I want to do everything with Joel and its great that he's not scared of new things.

This year I felt so much more involved with living in York, practically moving in with Joel as we see each other twenty four seven. We plan to get our own flat in early summer next year, so bring on 2016!! I started back at university for my finally year and it is scary, but challenging and I love it. I am finally enjoying my course and feel that I have stepped up my game to get my degree. I feel 100% about all the work I am producing for my course.

Dying my hair pink encouraged me to make my youtube channel and this blog, it was that nudge of confidence with my style that allowed me to really come into my own. I feel so comfortable now with the clothes I wear, how I present myself and all that I have produced on both my channel and blog. I loved my pink hair, it was adventurous and as my mum would put 'was so Jess'. It made me individual because apart from bloggers, I didn't know anyone who had bright pink hair. I felt good about myself every morning when I woke up. Is that too much to say about dying your hair? It was something huge for me that I hope I can do again soon. 

Before going on holiday I had an accident with my hair when my hairdresser managed to snap it all off when bleach bathing it. I got my roots touched up and she managed to dye it blue and snap the top and front layers of my hair off, leaving me a broken mess with fucked up hair. It really knocked my confidence enough that I bought a wig, but when taking it off I felt like crying. My hair was so damaged which I had never experienced before, I had managed to dye my hair from black to pink in under a week with keeping it in perfect quality so how had this happened? I had to dye my hair back to black and felt dead inside. I was scared to let anyone see me without hair extensions because I thought it looked so bad, which was tough when Joel started staying over. Everyone knew I needed to do something especially my mum because she could see  how unhappy it made me every day, especially when anyone mentioned my pink hair. I took the money plunge and bought extensions, having them fitted so they are attached constantly with micro loops. The top layers of my hair are still so short (probably levels out at eye level) but I am so much happier now, my confidence is back and I feel so much better about myself.

The top highlight for my artwork this year has to be the t-shirts I produced, finally stepping up my store game and getting my illustrations printed onto clothing. I always wanted to do this, Joel helping me make it a reality by working out all the money expenses, companies I could work with, how I could make it a business and has given me the desire to make it my full time job. I have such a passion to my artwork and the tshirts paid off so much. I made what I earn in a week, in three hours. It put so much into prospective and I have decided this is what I want to do in life. Joel even helped me with the advertisement, being apart of my shoot to showcase the tshirt's on a male because they are unisex. 

2015 has been a year I have taken everything from, learning and jumping into new opportunities with my life, blogging and independent business. My blog is still a baby but I love the small community of followers I have. I am incredibly appreciate to everyone who has support me and who I love, because they have made this year my favourite. It's created a structure for how I want my 20's to be and 2016 is going to be that final scary last jump into what I am going to do after university because it will of ended. 

Goodbye 2015, 2016 is here.