8 Feb 2016

Hello everyone! This post originally started out as just another outfit of the day, quite casual, but when it came to me editing the photographs I wanted to make it something...more. The day this post is being scheduled for is the day before my birthday, which gave me the realization of 'oh wow, that's me saying goodbye to being 21 forever'. I'm not that big on birthdays and rarely do anything for them, but with being 22 just around the corner it dawned that it's another year of getting older. The older audience of my blog are now probably laughing like I don't know the half of it, that being 22 is still pretty young, but in the grand scheme of things it's me diving deeper into adulthood. Leaving the age of 21 started to make me consider what I had done in that year
, had I gotten everything out that space of time? This is almost going to be like a yearly round up post but different to my 2015 summary. I want to consider what I want out of life, what I think I should be doing at the age of 21, what I've accomplished, what I haven't and how I am going to remember me being 21.

Thinking of my birthday last year, I did nothing special, only going to university, heading home to grab a quick snack with my boyfriend at the time then heading out for drinks because it was my staff late Christmas do's. Living in York that meant we did a bar crawl, but I was way too happy that there was another event going on because it meant I didn't have to pick where we were going. I've never been the type to have all attention on me, which can be taken as a surprise considering I have a youtube channel and take pictures of myself daily. That's me controlling the content, I can be quite anxious to function in a social environment.  Living away from your family means you don't necessarily get to spend your actual birthday with them, which was sad because it was the first year for me. I saw my parents and siblings the weekend before my birthday date, but it just wasn't the same waking up to cards off my friends but not having my family there for cuddles and activities you do with them. I miss being younger sometimes just for that, I can get massively homesick and I can imagine my 22nd birthday to be the same. Another aspect I've noticed from my last birthday is I'm not that big of a drinker anymore, so the thought of doing the same thing this year is a little blah. I'd rather just spend the day out at the seaside or having a nice meal somewhere I haven't been before, anything just a little bit more exciting and adventurous. I spend alot of time with my boyfriend and we love trying new things/places, so that option appeals more to me.      

Last year I entered a new relationship which excitedly has become quite serious, we're considering moving in with each other in the early summer which I am so happy about! Joel is literally my everything and it's not toxic or negative, he's so supportive and brings the best out in me. I couldn't imagine a better person to want to spend my life with. With that being said there have been new topics to talk about which never were relevant before, making me consider my mum especially and what she was doing at my age. My mum was married and pretty soon after being 21 was carrying me inside her tummy, so to be moving past that age of my mum being married made me start considering would I want any of those things? I've always wanted to be married and I'm still on the fence about children, but I've started to realise that it all might be a possibility at any stage of my twenties, even possible thirties. I think that twenty one is still a little too young to be married, but then again two of my cousins which are my age, are married and one has a child! So is it too young? I'm not that typical university student, twenty one year one that runs around getting smashed every night and sleeps with a tone of guys. I've never been that person, I'm quite like a grandma. I'd rather stay in with food, movies, my rats and art. I think that type of lifestyle is something to consider but I want it to happen in my late twenties rather than now. I'm happy with Joel, our plans to live together with our rats and possible dog. 


I started this age with pink hair that I loved, a newly made blog and youtube channel and a online store making a steady income. I loved my pink hair and I think I relied on it too much as a characteristic of myself, because when it was snapped off by a hairdresser I never felt so depressed in my life. Having to dye my hair black and wear hair extensions to simply achieve the short bob look really effected my confidence. I even bought a wig but it made me feel worse when I took it off at night! I know some people might be thinking 'it's only hair' but when it's your hair and you can't hide the mess which has happened, life gets hard. I couldn't even get it up in a bobble it was that short. I was unhappy for months and entering that state allowed me to see how unhappy I was with other aspects of my life. I was barely making average at university because I was spending more time seeing my boyfriend who lived in Doncaster, so when I tried to revive the last semester of uni back into shape, we found we barely saw each other and it wasn't working. We couldn't make it work with me being at university all week and then working on the weekends, but when you're earning money you don't want to stop, and he was the same. Life wasn't working for me at the end of Spring but with meeting Joel who lived in York and worked where I did too, it was so much easier to make time for each other and I felt that spark of happiness return. I still felt crap about my hair but then I took the jump and got hair extensions which are attached to my head, so every time I wake up now I feel so awesome and my natural hair is getting back to being healthy.
I also went abroad to Greece on my first girls holiday which is definitely something I think you should do in your early twenties! However it was so grown up as we went out to fancy places to eat and explored the islands, not alot of drinking actually. I stepped up my business too in printing onto tops and making calenders, products I never thought to when starting out Jgdrawings. I've really pushed myself at the end of this year especially with university and things I want out of life, third year is going amazing and I'm finally where I want to be with grades I am achieving and artwork outcomes. I've decided I want to run my own business and work for home with blogging and selling art, so where ever Joel and I move to, I can do it all from home. 

When I'm much older I'm going to remember being twenty one as a year of love, hair problems, exciting adventures with both my closest friends and my boyfriend, my first pets (OMG CLIVE AND HENRY HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE GIRL RATS!!!!) and the start of really building up my online store, blog and youtube. I love living in York so being twenty one might be my last memories of the city because we plan to move out to somewhere less touristy, so I will remember my last year of university and the awesome restaurants and bars which have become our regular places to chill. I have loved being twenty one and at no point have I not been taking seriously for my age, which gives me such confidence that I can really make it for myself the older I get. I want big things out of being twenty two, more tattoos, more content and artwork and fingers crossed getting my own business set up to work for myself!

I hope you liked this post, I know it might be full of rambles but I had so much to get out of my head! How did you find your year of being twenty one? Let me know!