REAL TALK #3 // Tips for living with your Lobster!

Sunday, 13 November 2016

(Yes I did make a Friends reference in the title of this post) All I can say is Happy Sunday, I hope everyone is sat on the sofa in their dressing gowns with a big cup of tea watching a Sunday film which is probably family friendly! Last Sunday I was curled up in my big blanket watching the live action Cinderella and eating scrambled egg on toast! This Sunday...well I have a big day of work in head of me, but what are weekends when you work in Retail ay. Thank god for post scheduling! I've been excited to sit down and write another real talk post here on my blog, I have a number of big ideas which will hopefully will become in depth posts on things more meaningful than just clothing, makeup (even though I do love those things too) but there's just so much more I can use this platform for to voice. I got the idea for this blog post when my sister told me she couldn't imagine living with another person that isn't my parents, she's only fifteen so she won't have to worry about things like that for a long time. I told her it wasn't bad at all, Joel my boyfriend and I get on like a house on fire and our home is full of love with our two pet ratties! I love that I live with my best friend and where I would probably love living with friends too, I love living with my boyfriend so much more. Us living together was something that just sort of happened, I practically had moved in long before an official 'asking' by Joel, but when I finished university it was kind of the next obvious step or else I would have to move home, out of the city which meant our relationship would become unnecessarily hard. To say he's my first partner I've ever lived with it's so so easy, so I thought I would share some of my tips or things I've found living with him, to hopefully calm any nerves or answer any questions first time moving outers to live with their partners might have! 

Spending time by yourself in your home 

Ok this might seem like a weird first point to start with especially when I've just mentioned how happy I am living with my boyfriend, but I think this is super important and I struggled with it for the first couple of months. When you don't live with your partner, usually when time is spent together you're doing things together, being in each others company and I think it is a massive change living with them because suddenly you're surrounded by their things, but they might not be there. Both Joel and I work, so there is a lot of time we're not at home at the same time. I found it so sooo weird at first, I was always bored, if he was out with friends I'd feel really sad and lonely, because I was sat in our flat with nothing to do because I was so used to having him there all the time when I would come to see him. It's unnecessary, I think the sooner you get used to being in space you share alone, you come to see it's always YOUR space where you can do things YOU want to. I have alot of projects like my art business and blogging so I am constantly busy when at home, but I've gotten used to the fact that the flat is also my home, where I can just do me without Joel being there. I love spending time together at home, but when I want to get stuff done it's awesome to have the night to myself some times. One of the biggest things I couldn't get used to for a while was if Joel went to see his parents and I was home alone for a night JESUS, it was weird having the big flat to myself, but now I don't feel weird without him, because I'm comfortable in MY home too. 

Develop that cleaning schedule 

This one might seem like a big obvious one, but just lately Joel and I set in place a weekly day schedule of what needs doing on certain days and I don't know why we didn't do it sooner! With both working full time jobs it can be really hard to keep on top of things, sometimes I'm too exhausted to do anything after work, same for Joel, so if we have a specific things that needs doing on a day, at least one of us will manage to do it. I think this way one of you will not feel as if you're doing it all, you can state that hey on Tuesday the bins need taking out or the bathroom needs cleaning, then through the amazing power of speech you can establish which one of you can do it! I love cleaning the flat when both of us are together because it's a proper team effort and everything SPARKLES, but other times it's nice to know you're both sharing out the jobs. A home doesn't stay clean by itself. 

Food shopping becomes more expensive...

Ok so this one isn't exactly a positive one, but when you live with another human being you start buying for two people and it can be quite pricey. I do cook for myself alot because of both our work schedules, but alot of the time I make two portion meals so Joel can eat his when he gets home or on our days off we go all out and cook a feast! It does make the food shop a pain because you need to buy things you might not necessarily like but your partner does and you can't just cook up a quick meal because you need double of EVERYTHING. Don't share pizza, just buy two, I'm saving you countless arguments. 

Headphones are the dark horse of necessities

If you and your partner have the same music and film taste than congratulations to you this isn't a pointer for you, but if you're like me and your Boyfriend doesn't care for films or tv much, you need headphones. This may only apply to bloggers purely because I use them alot to edit with and watch youtube so I don't disturb Joel, but if you really don't want to watch a certain thing on television one night that your partner does, you can just pop your headphones in and catch up on Youtube! You can still be in their company, cuddled on the sofa, chilling out, but that way you're both happy and it's a good compromise. It's the same both ways sometimes, I can watch my telly and Joel can listen to new albums without the noise clashing. Is that too much of a simple point to include in this post? I love spending time with Joel but sometimes it's nice to just catch up on your own things, mine being my youtube subs without having to wait for a night where you're alone! I think it's a good thing to keep in mind that just because you're both at home doesn't mean you can't do your own thing, that tips quite relevant for anyone living with friends or being at uni! 

It really is all about compromise 

Despite it being a really cliche point and probably said in every 'tips for living with your partner' article, I think this is the most important thing to do when living with someone. There is a lot of things you need to do together and being respectful of the other person and taking them completely into value is a big one. Whether it's wardrobe space, cleaning jobs that need doing, cleaning the bath out, food shopping, I think making compromises is the best way to make it work living together. I don't think it's a bad thing compromising at all, I never grumble about adding things I don't like to the shopping cart or doing the washing for both of us, because Joel also does those things! We both do things for each other and it's so natural, which is why I think it works. There's no hassle, we just do things together or for each other. If I'm on an early shift and Joel is on a late, he gets in and watches telly for a bit so that I can spend longer asleep before he disturbs me getting into bed and I think that's so nice of him! The same way as when I start to cook food when he finishes work so he can have a warm cooked meal when he gets home from a horrid shift, it's all because we love our partner and living together should be a really good, happy experience! 

I hope this post has sort of helped or even just given you an insight into what it's like living with your partner. These things might be really obvious to some or points people hadn't even thought about! It's different living with someone your first time because you're looking out for someone else and not just yourself, and I love it so much.

I hope you liked this real talk post, is there anything you want me to talk about in my next Real talk post? 

Until next time guys,

1 comment

  1. Absolutely loved this and of course the title. I am literally dying to move out with my boyfriend, it's just so so expensive!

    Hannah | Oh January


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