28 Nov 2016

I've been needing to get this all off my chest for a while and I think the problem has stemmed from me being so caught up in my blog post schedule that I couldn't just add in a randomly written post. I thought I loved post scheduling but I don't. I thought scheduling an months worth of content would make everything easier but instead it's leaving me feeling un attached to my posts, like I write them and then throw them in the waste bin to never be seen again. I click schedule for a date in the month, they go live and I can't even remember writing it because I've left it to look after itself until it's publish date. Even though these words are pure ramble I feel as if they're flowing out of me more than any of my blog posts have done for a while and that makes me feel very, very sad. I love blogging but here on my blog heartshapedbones I've just felt a lack of connection to anything I've been doing. Ugh.

I've decided that I'm no longer going to schedule my posts, I've somehow told myself that if I want to blog full time I need to have a blogging schedule, when really I spend pretty much EVERY night trying to stick to that, never getting free time, feeling bad when I'm not scheduling and exhausting myself trying to handle everything I do. I work full time in retail and with it being Christmas it's incredibly full on and intense, I work over 35 hours a week whilst then coming home to spend atleast 5 hours a day blogging and that isn't counting my days off where I then do more blogging. I rarely do nothing on my days off because I need to take photos in the light or I spend all day writing up blog posts and finally I've decided how I'm doing it just isn't for me. There has to be a more simple way which is going to give me back my flare content wise, the fact that I've written this rant in under an hour shows how stuck I'm getting writing a post when one takes me hours. I just sit there looking at the pictures I've taken just not inspired at all to write. I love writing, I love blogging, so I'm hoping this change is going to make me feel better. At the moment I feel like my head is constantly full and it doesn't empty, I'm not releasing any pressure up there and it feels like I have a long to do list when I really don't need to make my life that complicated!

When I finished University I thought it was fantastic that I would have all this time for blogging and it really has taken over my life but I love that! I think I would be fine managing a schedule if I didn't work so much, but alas I do to earn money so instead of coming home every night to get myself worked up and stressed, I'm going to blog went I want to and hopefully we'll see a difference in my content! I don't think it's about the quantity of posts I publish a month but the quality of each of them, I want to step up my photography so I can really nail what I want to write about on my blog. I need to make some sort of change because I feel like I could collapse into bed every time I get home from work, so if I can put the worry of keeping up with my blog out of my mind, I'll hopefully feel more relaxed. Relaxed Jess = Better content.

For days now I've wanted to say this to someone but really it's only going to make me feel better if I write it here on my blog, it's where it belongs so that you can see what the hell is going on with me. I do always blog about what I love but I think now I can really make content which has so much effort behind it, I can spend days getting the perfect photographs and work on my writing rather than having to cram in four posts a week which was my original weekly schedule. I don't know when I'll publish posts but you'll sure to here about it over on twitter where I do most of my networking. I will be posting some Christmasy content but not an overly bearing amount that I felt that I needed to post! I have so many fresh ideas for posts which will take us into the new year and I'm so excited to really get into what I love.