Whats making me happy - Spring '18

6 May 2018

By now I can notice from a mile away when my mental health takes a turn for the worst, I drop contact with people, I can't sit in silence because there's a hectic buzzing in my head and I have this huge urge to run all the time like I'm trying to get away from something. I can sense it coming over me like a black cloud creeping up in the sky and it's coming back again. I started this year at the bottom of a bad patch but the fog cleared, I felt great for a month or two but then things started to crack. This is the closest I can explain how I feel, but I just feel lost all the time like I'm on the verge of a huge cry and it's nothing to do with hormones even though I wish it completely was.

I'm feeling very lonely whilst on top of that trying to handle a feeling of being lost...lost and lonely aren't a good combination. Even though it was only a couple of months ago I can't remember how I got myself out of this spell, I think I replied on others to make me happy and yeah that's great sometimes as a support system it's also a false feeling because I'm not truly happy. I'm not happy at all, life is kicking me down despite me screaming to myself that I just want to be happy. I also feel really guilty for being such a Debbie downer because I hope it's not causing you to stir away from my content. I do really want my blog to be a fun cheerful place, but at the same time it's a reflection of me and right now it's hard times. My blogs always seen me through these patches so I wanted to have a little outlet - a way to remind myself of all the good things and what I'm currently in love with so I can look back at this post and tell myself things are ok. It's not as bad as it seems. There's gonna be an end to feeling like this. 

  • I got a kitten his name is Fang and he has such a gorgeous personality 
  • I saw Marvels Infinity War &&&&& it was amazing. I've warmed up so much to characters like the new Spider-Man and Scarlet Witch aw faves
  • I've found a bunch of vintage 70's style items that I'm excited to shoot photos in 

  • I discovered a nature park across from my house and it's beautiful! Lots of these yellow budded plants everywhere and it's fun for geocaching too 
  • The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson is my latest read & I'm really enjoying his writing style
  • We've been doing a bake off/come dine with me at work
  • I really love my hair colour now the orange has faded to a light ginger shade
  • I'm so torn with who's my favourite queen in Ru Paul's season 10 of Drag Race! It's such a good season with strong contestants  
  • Fangs giving me a cuddle as we speak and he's fallen asleep on my stomach

  • I sponge watched The Alienist in two/three days on Netflix and it was such a good drama
  • I collected some flowers to press, I'm gonna create framed collages with theme!
  • I'm so happy with how my art store is going, I have a number of t-shirts and my drawing style is exactly where I want it to be 
  • I worked with Boohoo on my blog and I think it might be my biggest accomplishment to myself
  • I picked up cross stitching again 
  • I've fallen in love again with bands like Seafret & The Lumineers again, perfect sunshine summer weather music
  • I've got into pin badges (a little late on the band wagon) so I'm building some up on my leather jacket
  • I've become obsessed with pinterest again and it's helping me find inspiration for my lookbooks

  • I'm really happy with how my house is looking my home d├ęcor is exactly where I want it to be 
  • My nephew is such a happy soul its really radiant from him
  • I keep putting the front of hair in a braid and I really like how it looks on me
  • I've nearly caught up to real time on the podcast My Favourite Murder which I'm excited but scared about 
  • I've found my motivation with running again
  • I shot a bunch of looks with my fave gal Meg in Hull and I love the results of the shoot - they'll be going up on my blog over the next week or two 
  • My family are booking a holiday for next year and kindly are taking me too
  • Deadpool 2 comes out this month I cannot wait I just need to find someone to go with me  


I feel like it's been a long time since I headed out with my tripod and took a bunch of photos that I was super happy with, so I'm proud of myself for this collection of photos. I love taking photos of plants/flowers which I know is a weird thing to like to take photos of, but I decided to mix in a few shots to this look because it blends all the warm tones together matching my outfit. I wanted to clear my head so I went out to the nature park next to my house and got the snaps, listening to music finding each location and also looking at the insane amount of dogs that people we're walking. I wouldn't stay the shots are about my clothes which is new for me with fashion blogging, I just really liked how my hair and pinafore dress matched my surroundings. Just the 70's warm tone vibe I've been wanting!

Sometimes it's nice to write down a list of things that are making you happy so you can keep looking at it when you feel sad. I'm trying to not let my mental health affect things like my blog, so here's to being happy with just a few specifics that I'm in love with lately.

Until next time guys,

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