I feel disconnected from blogging

12 Feb 2018

It's been a long time since I've felt a little unsure about the internet, but currently it's like I'm a ghost just staring at people having conversations and I can't interact. It's weird, this is going to be a rambled post of my weird feelings but I just feel incredibly disconnected and of course it's because I decided to stop and take a break. 

I think breaks from hard work is good, its always healthy to just take some time for yourself and I think if I didn't in this blogging game my head would explode. I've worked myself dry before and it developed into me having a break because I had nothing else to give, but this is a different sort of feeling because I have so much inspiration and I know I have LOTS to give...but I just have that feeling where you've been sat on your legs for ages and now it's hard to walk again for a little bit. It's not a block, but I just find is so hard right now to interact with the community of bloggers I've surrounded myself with and I have no clue why. 

I took a little break from blogging to collect myself in my personal life, but it's not just getting back into writing that's my problem. I'm usually so good at keeping on top of my social medias, I'm always on Instagram and despite also working full time I find time to be on twitter interacting with as many people as possible. I love the ladies and gents in blogging that I've made friends with, so to read their work, watch their videos and just generally chat has always been easy. I've got my shit together and I'm diving right into blogging with excitement, but then when it comes to the other stuff I just can't follow up. I'll check twitter and forget to respond, miss chats, barely write status despite telling myself to do so. Networking is a huge part of blogging and it's weird for me to feel almost like a ghost because it's never been the problem before. It's always been my lack of inspiration or I hit a block, but right now I feel so motivated to schedule posts but chat about what I had for lunch? Nope. Sorry.

I don't want to make an issue where there isn't any, but at the same time I need to burp out this weird problem so I can stop just talking to myself about it. I don't know if it connects to my anxiety but I'm just scared that I've dropped the ball I had because I was really in my element with the balance of work I had. I know in no way has the community pushed me out, I just feel like I've taken a step away and now joining in again is hard. 

It can be hard wanting to make blogging your career when you're also working full time and I plan to do a blog post soon on how I balance my schedule. I've had to build myself back up again and whilst being on a break from the internet I've just thrown myself into my day job. I've added blogging back to the mix, slowly working on my store and designs, so now also managing myself online is wedging itself back in. My point to this post really is to just say please bare with me, I want to be online chatting away, I want to update regularly on Instagram again because I love to do so. I love photography, I love the community I'm in and I want to give my two censes and join in. My Instagram and twitter are growing and it's such a huge relief to feel that I must be doing something right. I love to be on Instagram live because it's an easy way to keep you all updated and I plan to do more videos so that you're getting little snippets of my day like I would vlog on youtube. 

orange striped 'i feel you' dress ~ the ragged priest

I hope some of that babble at least makes sense and you can relate to how I'm feeling! It's so weird to be on a roll and then take a huge break that leaves you not knowing how to get back into it. I love blogging, it's my huge passion so I plan to throw my all into it this year and thankyou for baring with. 

A little on the outfit! I've had this dress a couple of months now and I'm still in love with it. I'd been wanting to order some stuff from The Ragged Priest for ages now so I bit the bullet before Christmas and I've barely taken the dress off. Now that I've gone for a warmer look with my hair I love how grungy it makes me look - the orange making for a nice change to the black items I pile on in winter. The t-shirt style dress is oversized and this is a size small, so I'd definitely go for a size down if you find anything similar on the website. The neck hole is tight but the sleeves are baggy, so the fit really is all about comfort/that lazy look. My favourite element is definitely the 'I feel you' quote embroided on the front!

I think I need to get out of my head a little and just think about all the positives that online brings. I love chatting to not only my friends I've made in blogging but anyone who loves what I love and reads my blog. I tend to look at others who excel at being online and it shakes me because I want to be like that. I want to be online 24/7 smashing out content but at the same time I just can't do that with working full time and trying to do everything else I do in my life.

2018 for me is a fresh start so here's to it! I hope my rambles aren't too weird and you understand a little of how I'm feeling, just your average ghosty looking at your conversations online and not interacting through anxiety of not being wanted woo. 

These photographs we're taking by my sister and holy jesus I love them! The warmth in the air aswell as my new hair do is getting me excited for the warmer months. 

Until next time guys,

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I've just launched my own independent business so here is my shop too : Witchcrafts
& I also have a bunch of things listed on my Depop